The Deathlook Chronicles

Now we all know we have been there...on a bus, train, subways, even plane where there was someone near by that you have deemed a 'threat' to your sane existence. Either they are extremely annoying or they just look straight up weird and scary. Well people i deal with that every waking day of the weak as i ride the ghetto bus to our beloved Newark. Ive found the only way to combat this threat is through the use of a look that would stop a heart. Everyone knows wat im talking about..some people reserve this look for when they anger, others walk around with this look all day long. The look that says "I DARE YOU DARE YOU to say somethin to me..I will slice ya throat you mess with me". Well I have mastered it..can turn it on like a lightswitch. So lets begin:

Quietly I am sitting on the bus home yesterday relaxing gettin ready for the endless ride back to my beloved town when I hear...HI!! My first reaction was to calmly ignore this crazy man sitting across from me screaming at the top of his lungs. So I did and it seemed successfull and i calmly listen as he gets on his 1987 cellphone (bigger than my soul) talking LOUDER than life on it. Heard EVERY word of his conversation..as he asked for a person named michael and then yelled aww man when he wasnt there. Then he mumbled something along the lines of him gettin his money or job right..who knows...anyway back to me. A few mins. later HELLLO HI?! So to stop this madness I shot him the deathlook, yea thats right and even to his slow ass it said "leave me the f*uck alone!"..Didn't hear a word from him again..LOVE IT

More recently today, once again i was sitting minding my business in the lil cuby they call seats in the back of the bus when I see this HUGE girl and I think to myself, why is she gonna come sit next to me, just because im skinny doesnt mean that there is extra room. Look at all the open seats around you. Once before she had sat next to me and i promise you I thought I had stopped breathing for a good five mins. We were like two packed sardines. So this time I was like no, i refuse, esp. when there is like fifteen seats around me open free for her to park it. So I unleashed the look and sure enuff she gallopped her ass to the seat that was infront of me. Serves her right..can i live?!

If anyone else has any funny yet neccessary moments where they had to let a fool know through they eyes..let a sista know :) ill keep you posted about mine.

lata bebes